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Marcia Hoffheins on Leading with Love: How Women Can Reclaim Power and Purpose
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My name is Marsha Hoffhines . I can go as Marsha Lynn as well . That's my given name , but most people just call me Marsha . The name of my company is Shift Makers . That's the formal name , but really it's Marsha Hoffhines . I serve a variety of people , but mainly women . My business didn't really start off to be focused on women . That's how it evolved . I do support men and women in the executive coaching
Introducing Marsha and Shift Makers
Speaker 1and the yoga space , but mainly women for my wellness programs , retreats and things like that .
Speaker 2Amazing . Take me back . What initially drew you to the world of coaching . Give me a quick kind of overview .
Speaker 1Yeah , sure .
Speaker 1So I've been a yoga professional for 23 years and I've been leading men and women through becoming yoga teachers for a long time , and part of that that I learned early on was that I needed to understand how to coach them .
Speaker 1It's really easy to get caught up in relating to people and getting part of their stories and that becomes extremely exhausting , and what people really need on this journey is someone to help them learn how to find their voice and have confidence in themselves . So I myself hired coaches to help
From Yoga to Coaching Journey
Speaker 1me grow , and then I also went through a coaching program early on to help me really support people , predominantly at the time in the yoga teacher training space . What I learned very quickly was I loved what coaching provided . It was the conversation that , as teachers in the yoga world , we don't get to hear people having on the inside , and ultimately I loved that connection . I love to talk , I love to share my story and I also know how therapeutic and healing it can be to actually say the things out loud that are getting really in our way , so that we can cut through all of the surface stuff and become the best versions of ourselves .
Speaker 2Beautiful ? Yeah , absolutely . So . You touched on helping women and men , kind of in the executive coaching space , but you help women and leaders reclaim their purpose , vitality and authentic power . When you're coaching women specifically , what does that look like in practice ?
Speaker 1Oh gosh , well , I have to show up that way first , right ? So the first thing for me is to always show up as the example of helping them become that version for themselves , right ? And I think that's why people ultimately hire me and are drawn to me . In practice , what that looks like is reflecting back to someone who they are
Leadership Values: Integrity, Ethics, Love
Speaker 1. Because I think when we do that , we can give that permission for them to see themselves through somebody else's words and actions . Then you empower them to just like understand that knowing on the inside .
Speaker 1And a lot of times I'm going to say leadership , just in general we all lead ourselves , whether it's as mothers , it's as nurses , it's as teachers , wherever we are , women are leaders . So it's not just in the executive space , but it's in the life space and it's in the small business space . And a lot of times we're all suffering from the same mental chatter , that imposter syndrome am I enough ? And when you have someone sitting across from you reminding you of that , all the other things that we think are the problems kind of start to fade away . Because then when we start to show up as our authentic , most vibrant not how I was going to say , yeah , vulnerable self , we give that permission to everybody around us to be that bright as well .
Speaker 2Wow , that is so powerful . And you're right , women are leaders and just I was thinking about it as you were speaking . Women do tend to step into those leadership roles throughout any aspect of their lives , so it's really like natural within them .
Speaker 1I mean women are the leaders of the home right . At the end of the day , we kind of organize everything , we take care of it all right , and I'm not saying that men don't facilitate a role there as well , but just if you look at how we function as a society and as we go to our moms , we function as a society and as we go to our moms , right , and we look to them , and particularly with my daughters , I want them to see me leading my life in a way that's inspiring to them , to have them then step into their truest selves as well .
Speaker 2Wow , yeah , I love that . What values , would you say , guide your work when you're supporting high-performing women who are often juggling so much ?
Speaker 1Oh , okay , my values Integrity , ethics and love . So I think everything starts with love , and I know I said that last , but I kind of think of it as like , if I start here , start here , then I'm giving you nothing but pure love and I am then coming from a very ethical space . So everything I do , I am a rule follower , so I make sure , like when I'm coaching , I am purely coaching and when I'm teaching , I am teaching , and in both of the spaces that I really play in are guidelines and ethics . So I think that's a really important foundation for someone sitting across from me knowing that that's how I show up . And then the last one integrity . Right Again , I kind of go back to what I said to you before asking you to show up . Then that feels a lot better than me sitting across from you having on like a uniform or a costume , pretending to be something that I'm not , while asking you to step into your truest self . Yeah . So those three things , that's like that's my foundation . Yeah , that's my foundation .
Speaker 2Yeah , and they have to be able to level with you too and see that you embody these things that you're , you know , trying to maybe make them feel within themselves Right . It reminds me of like when we go to the doctor and they tell us like , oh , like , work out , eat healthy , do all of these things , yes , or I don't know different lifestyle things , and then they themselves aren't doing it .
Speaker 1Yeah , I don't know different lifestyle things . And then they themselves aren't doing it . Yeah , I don't do that For sure .
Speaker 2Like , yeah , how am I going to take that advice ? I can't trust , I can't trust the person that it's coming from .
Speaker 1Yeah , I mean , you know , just this just happened yesterday on a coaching call that I have , I spent some time with a woman who was an architect of her company and she has a small business that supports large organizations , and one of the things that she asked for us to work on in a future coaching session she was like you are able to just see people and I want to learn how to do that , and I think that's where that love piece comes in is like when we see people beyond just the clothes , the title , the name , whatever right this external description , and we can understand that at our essence , we're loved . You get to see who that person is and you get to pull them out , and it's a skill . You get to see who that person is and you get to pull them out , and it's a skill and it's something that a lot of leaders want to embody so that they can help their teams perform and grow and be the best versions of themselves as well .
Speaker 2Yeah , and integrating that shared value of love really connects people on that human level that we're missing so much of nowadays , yeah , and that we're all craving too , yeah , so it's really special , absolutely Kind of on leadership and team culture when you do coach leaders , how do you help them align their organizational performance with their personal well-being ?
Speaker 1Oh gosh , that's always the big question , right is finding that work-life balance . Work-life balance . You know , I think the past five years have taught us a lot on what's really important , and I'm going to do like a little compare and contrast to my work in the coaching space pre-2020 and post . It was just a different conversation then . We didn't know anything other
Life Balance and Organizational Alignment
Speaker 1than the crazy hustle culture that we were all living in , and it was almost like it was really hard to and no one was even asking to have the conversation at that point of how do I find more balance , and I've just seen this as a shift , right . So in the past couple of years , really , people are like how do I get back to this ? I want to keep everything moving over here , but I want to continue to have this sense of kind of slowness and ease that we were given a taste of over the past five years of our life . And the way I go about working with leaders and their organizations on this is you are the CEO of your life and if you start from that perspective , how do you then organize your entire existence ? Because we aren't just our jobs , we aren't just our titles , we are more than this . So how do you work it into the entire picture ?
Speaker 1In fact , in the past two years Most of my coaching has been coaching people out of their existing jobs because they're realizing how out of alignment they are as things have kind of gotten back to going back into the office and I'm going to say I'm going to air quote normal , because really , what is normal ?
Speaker 1We don't really have a sense of normal , but things are going back to how maybe they used to be and people are really starting to see like oh , wow , I have been completely operating outside of something that's really authentic and true to me . So helping them come up with what are your core values and how is that showing up and what do you deserve ? Who are you beyond your job ? So leaders , the top of the organization have to be actually willing to say I'm okay if you start coaching people out of my organization because ultimately , at the end of the day , it's going to be better for my organization and it's going to be better for them . So as soon as we can actually just start , I think more people are looking at their people as whole people , versus just the person that comes and shows up to work for them .
Speaker 2Yeah , that is so powerful , making that shift to thinking about yourself or thinking about a client as the CEO of their life , not just the CEO of their company or the CEO of whatever work they're doing , in the job that they're in , in the role that they're in . Everything changes when you're the CEO of your life , right , and everything has to kind of work in harmony . Yeah , so I love that .
Speaker 1I mean it just goes back to like leading , we're all leading . Like I believe , we're all leaders .
Speaker 2We don't just have to have some big title to be a leader , and if we show up like , oh , I'm leading , you get to lead , we all just get to lead , and the people who are leading these organizations CEOs , vice presidents , whatever title we want to put they should want their people to be leading as well . Right , Absolutely . I wanted to talk about human design and empowerment a little bit . You also incorporate human design into your work , which is so cool . How does understanding our design help leaders and teams ?
Speaker 1grow , yeah .
Speaker 1So this is like a really fun one , because a lot of people are like oh , what is this like woo-woo thing ? And really what I love about human design is it's a tool . It's a tool for me to go hey , I can't make this stuff up . All you do is give me your birth date and your time of birth and where
Human Design in Leadership
Speaker 1you were born and I plug it in and then I'm able to look at you again as a whole person .
Speaker 1The reason why it's powerful and why it works is because we all have a different way of work . We have a different way of working . That's a better way of saying that . We have a different way of work . We have a different way of working . We have different rhythms and cadences and natural gifts and talents , and a lot of times in the workplace we need people to follow a job description and what ends up happening and can happen is I can feel stuck or stifled by the way you want me to go about doing something , and if we understand that your way of doing something is still going to get me to the end result , and if I keep trying to push you into this box over here and make you function this way , I'm not going to get to the end result . So me understanding a little bit more about how you energetically function and are going to be more in your flow and more in a place of being able to express your gifts . It's just super helpful , from communication to aligning people in the right . I'm not going to even say positions , because you can do whatever role it is , as long as it's bringing you joy and you're feeling like you can express yourself through it . I just so .
Speaker 1I love bringing things back to like real life examples and I one of the things that I just had the opportunity to do was work with a small team and in doing that , they all could see where they were getting in each other's way , where they weren't allowing for that one person who seemed like they were being lazy , but really all they were doing was just getting their job done like really quickly , effectively and efficiently , but it seems like they were just spending time doing nothing . So , like when you can start to see people through a different perspective , it allows for you to understand how to best manage them , what types of tasks they might be better for , better suited for and for the individual . It's almost like this breath of fresh air . Oh yeah , this is how I am supposed to be showing up and doing things , and this is why this doesn't feel right . It's one of the tools that actually helped me get in a little bit more alignment with how I wanted to show up . It was a reminder to me that I do go fast . I am sometimes doing things a little bit faster and first , before other people are doing it .
Speaker 1I have my way of going about doing things . It brought me back when I first learned about my human design . It brought me back to my time at America Online and I was in like a project program management role and they always wanted us to use Microsoft Word and I never did . Not Microsoft Word , sorry , Microsoft Project , and I never did . You're like sorry , Microsoft Project and I never did . You're like Microsoft Word .
Speaker 1That seems like a strange one . Microsoft Project to like manage the project plans , and I just never did . For me , that felt like too . I'm like , oh , just plugging all this in just didn't feel right to me . But at the end of the day , what ended up happening was people were coming to me going how did you just get that done ? We want you to now do it over here . But how are you doing it ? And I'm like , literally , I just kept , I just did it my own way , I just kept my lists and I kept my Excel spreadsheets .
Speaker 1So human design is a tool , right , it's a tool . It's a reminder to the human that's getting the reading done for themselves of these are your innate talents . And when you feel like you are energetically not allowed to do that , that's when you're going to feel frustrated , You're going to feel dull , You're going to feel like angry and it's a reminder to people sitting across from that human that hey , this is how they best function and operate and if you let them do that , you're going to get more out of your team . So many companies like love the Enneagram , they love DISC , they love , you know , all of these different , different types of personality tests . And I can always take a human design chart and map it back to something else , like a strengths , a strengths finder , whatever it might be , because those are just this external expression of what you innately came here to do and how you innately came here to be .
Speaker 2Yeah , and it seems a little more or a lot more individualized than like an Enneagram .
Speaker 1That's right or something like that . Yeah , and no one's answering questions which , answering questions which I love , all of those things . But sometimes I'm like , what kind of mood am I in right now ? How do I want to answer this question ? And there's always the truth and there's always like sometimes you're like , oh yeah , that really really resonates , and sometimes you're like , no , I think I answered that wrong , because that does not sound like me at all .
Speaker 2Yeah , no , I remember I had to take my first , like enneagram , or maybe it was a different personality test , but I took it like in high school or something and I was just putting what I thought people wanted to see . So yeah , I totally get it , but with human design . Those are objective things that they're giving you .
Speaker 1Yeah , and it's funny , I've had someone give me the wrong birth date . They didn't realize it until I was doing their reading and they were sitting there looking at me all cross-eyed . I'm like , is none of this resonating with you ? And turns out they had completely . Oh , it wasn't the wrong birth date , the wrong time , and so it was like a chart that didn't even match anything about them . And it was funny because then , when I finally reread it for them , they're like oh my God , this and it seemed like so much better . So it's . It really is one of those moments where , if you don't get it right the first time , you're like this just does not sound , this does not sound like me , this doesn't feel right .
Speaker 2Yeah .
Speaker 1Yeah .
Speaker 2That's really awesome . It's pretty cool that you dive into human design . Yeah , I've heard so much about it , but I wasn't as informed as kind of what you just explained , so I'll have to do some more research , yeah , and I give a lot of information , because I give maybe too much information , but I want people to understand .
Speaker 1It's more than just I don't know how to describe it . It blends astrology . It blends a bunch of ancient arts into one system and I even think about like astrology too . Those things are just .
Speaker 1My husband the other day shared this like thing about Gemini's and it was all about , like , the shadow side of Gemini .
Speaker 1I was like dude , yeah , this is totally you Like , and I didn't know , but they can be so revealing . It can just be so revealing of like , oh my gosh , yeah , this is who I am at my core , and I've been hiding because I thought the world needed to see this . So , going back to even like leadership and helping women and even men become the most vibrant versions of themselves , if they understand , like , oh my God I am , this is who I remember being when I was a kid or in my 20s , when we're young , we don't have all of these fears that come over time and these responsibilities , so we're just out there , we're just like out there , being ourselves , right , and then , over time , people ask you oh , to be a mom , or to be a wife or a husband or to behave like insert role and responsibility right and we forget about our truest essence . And so if you can start remembering who your truest essence is , then you get to be like the most excellent version of you , no matter what the job title might be .
Speaker 2Yeah , and taking away . I'm sure that , like people pleasing .
Speaker 1That's right .
Speaker 2Stilled in us for so long too . And really , coming back to , what did things feel like when I was a kid ? What were these innate things that are just me ?
Speaker 1That's right .
Speaker 2So , yeah , amazing . Yeah , I wanted to touch on your retreats too . Yeah , ask if people walk away from working with you or attending one of your retreats . What's the one feeling or lesson you hope that they carry forward ?
Retreat Philosophy and Personal Transformation
Speaker 1Well , so that's such a great question . I have no hopes for them . I have to go into all of these experiences neutral , because then my worth becomes attached to their outcome and I'm really careful about that . The most dynamic , thorough , well-planned , well-thought-out retreat workshop , whatever it is for them . And then let them reflect back to me what they took away from it , Because it's just so . I take this coaching mindset across the board with everything I do , even when I'm training people to become teachers . It's going to be what they decide to take out of it .
Speaker 1I have retreats where some people come and they go through it the whole week and nothing . And that's okay , because they went maybe to just get away for the week and they didn't really come for the personal development and the growth work right . And then I have other people who step into that space . One woman's really popping into my head . I'm just going to say Emily I'm not going to give her last name and if she listens to it she'll know exactly who I'm talking about . She had never come to a yoga retreat before , she had never stepped on a yoga mat , and that woman transformed her life after that week . That's her story , and I've had other people like literally show up and have like complete opposite experiences because it brought up too much for them .
Speaker 1It's I have to just go . Did I provide like what I sold ? Did I give it ? Did I provide a platform for them to do whatever they needed to do in that moment and I can let them then share with me their experience . Now , when people walk away and don't have any experience , it's usually just like they had a great time but they didn't have like this profound internal like shift . I would say . Most of the time , people have a profound internal shift , though I just don't always hear about it . Space that is safe and that it's rich and dynamic and it gives enough experiences for them to have a moment that maybe reveals something to them , reminds them of something or helps them step into something that they've been afraid of , right . So it's a variety of things and men and women show up .
Speaker 1I have men and women coming this year for the first time . Again , my business , by design , was never meant to solely support women . It's just who gravitates towards me , which is I love it . But I have men and women coming this year . You know . Some are empty nesters for the first time . Some are recently divorced . Some are trying to figure out their spiritual journey and their connection to a higher power . Some are coming . I have a couple people who just come every year . They're like I will just be on this retreat , no matter what . So everybody comes for something different . So my hope is that I show up in a way that I can just support them quietly . I love that .
Speaker 2And even the people , I'm sure , that come and you don't hear about this big transformation that they've been through . Even those people that seem like they came and just had a good time , I'm sure that , just showing up and thinking back , even years and years later , I've had experiences like that , where then it becomes impactful , that's right .
Speaker 1I'm thinking about it so well , and that's my whole , literally . That's . You just described my whole line of work . I don't always know right away . Sometimes it is three or four years later . In fact , right now I'm in the process of recording a podcast series on my podcast with I .
Speaker 1I owned a yoga studio in Charlotte , north Carolina , for five years and it was 20 years ago this year that I bought the studio . I bought a failing yoga business and I turned it into a successful yoga business and I thought it would be fun to take a walk down memory lane . I didn't know what people thought about me until now and the words that they're sharing with me and what that space meant to them , right ? I could think I knew because of what it meant to me , but I had no idea , right ? So you just outlined my work in a nutshell . I don't always know the impact that I have on people from a talk that I gave , from a podcast they might have listened to , to a yoga class that I might have taught , to a coaching engagement that I might have had . I really don't . It's rare that people are like oh , this happened . The way I know is just , people keep showing up .
Speaker 2Yeah , yeah , amazing . Well , thank you so much . Is there anything else that I didn't touch on that you wanted to share with us ?
Speaker 1I don't think so . I think this was like really thorough . Thank you so much for having me . I really appreciate it , of course .
Speaker 2Thanks for coming on and I know that our audience is going to absolutely love this conversation . Thank you .